Explaining the custody schedule to your child helps them know what to expect, reduces anxiety and sets clear expectations. Starting a custody schedule before they understand it can be confusing and stressful.
Here is how you can help your child understand the custody schedule:
Use age-appropriate language
Before getting into the schedule, reassure your child that you both love spending quality time with them and that they belong to both homes. Then, use age-appropriate language when explaining it.
If your child is a toddler or a preschooler, focus on day-to-day routines. If you have a school-age child, help them understand how they will be going to school and spending time with friends.
It helps to use simple terms when explaining a custody schedule to a younger child. You should also consider using visual aids. For example, mark days on a calendar with different colors or magnets, showing when they will be with each parent. Let them mark a few weeks as an exercise.
If you have a teenager, you want to help them know what to expect. Additionally, focus on how the schedule accommodates their social life, school and extracurricular activities.
Inform them they can contact either parent at any time
It’s vital to inform your child that they can communicate with either parent at any time. Doing this helps reduce separation anxiety, as many children believe they aren’t “allowed” to contact the parent they are not with. Reassuring your child that they can speak with any parent at any time puts them at ease.
Encourage them to ask questions
Encourage your child to ask questions throughout the conversation. This allows you to uncover and address hidden concerns.
How you explain your custody schedule to your child determines how they internalize it. Learn more about helping your child accept their new routine and protecting them in this new normal.