During a divorce, it is important not to make children feel like they have to choose sides. Even when parents do not get along, the children are still going to be involved in both of those parents’ lives, in most cases. It is best for parents not to make their kids feel like they need to alienate one parent or prefer one over the other.
To that end, parents should try to keep children out of any adult disputes. Even if they have to have heated discussions or arguments over things that they strongly disagree on, they should not do this while the children are present to witness those disagreements. Around the kids, parents should try to be civil, even when they do not necessarily get along or agree on everything.
Do not make the children become messengers
Similarly, when parents are not on good terms, they are sometimes tempted to have the children act as messengers. If one parent needs their ex to sign a certain piece of paperwork, for example, they might tell the child to remind that parent about it during their next custody visit.
The problem with this is that it puts children directly in the middle of the conflict. They are the ones who have to deliver the message to the other parent and experience the reaction to that news. This can often make children feel stressed and anxious, so it is best for parents to handle these types of communications on their own.
Navigating a high-conflict divorce
Not all divorces go smoothly, and conflict is certainly possible between adults. If you find yourself in this position, it is very important that you understand exactly what legal steps to take and how to help things go as smoothly as possible for your children.