When going through a divorce, it’s important to put the children first. They are being affected by the divorce, just like their parents, but they didn’t choose for it to happen. So their wants and needs should come first whenever possible.
One thing to avoid doing is making children choose a parent’s side. For example, maybe there are disputes about custody or where children should live. Adults can work this out and find solutions, but they shouldn’t put pressure on their children by making them choose. This can be very difficult for children, and it can lead to resentment, confusion, alienation and much more.
How do you keep them out of it?
Children are naturally going to be very curious about the divorce, and that’s fine. You should talk to them about it. They’re going to have a lot of questions.
But what they want to know and what you tell them may be based in part on their age. How old are they? How much do they actually need to know? You may tell them that you’re getting a divorce without getting into the details, for instance. If there’s a custody dispute between you and your ex, young kids may not need those details, either. You can simply tell them that the two of you are adults who are trying to figure out the best solution and you haven’t done so yet.
Of course, if you do find yourself in a contentious situation like this, it can make it complicated to get divorced. Be sure you understand all of your legal options at this time.