Going through a divorce is a big change for the adults, but it’s also a major life change for the children. Those kids will want to know that both parents will still be actively involved in their life. They may even wonder whether they did anything to cause the split.
It’s up to the parents to set up a plan that helps the children thrive. In many cases, the adults can co-parent. This allows both of them to be as involved as possible in the child’s life. If you’re doing this with your ex, remember these rules so you can enhance the chance of co-parenting success.
#1: The past doesn’t matter
Don’t let the things that caused you and your ex to split up to rule the co-parenting relationship. Instead, pay attention to what’s going on with the child. Your ex might have been a terrible partner to you, but they can still be an excellent parent.
#2: Communicate directly with your co-parent
Never try to pass messages back and forth through the child. Instead, talk directly to each other. This reduces the chance of misinformation. It also removes the possibility of the child being placed in a precarious position.
#3: Compromise is important
You and your ex have to be able to compromise when it’s best for the child. For example, if your ex has family from out-of-state coming into town when it’s your weekend with the kids, it might be in the child’s best interests to go with your ex. Your ex should be willing to do similar things.
The parenting plan that you and your ex set up is what governs the co-parenting relationship. It must reflect the child’s current needs. Getting this established as quickly as you can after the split can provide stability for the child. As the child grows, it’s possible to modify the order to address the new needs of the child.