Some parents are torn when they want to get a divorce. They know that they want to end their relationship with their partner. But they’re worried about the impact that it is going to have on the children. They may consider “staying together for the kids” and living in an unhappy marriage just because that’s better for the children.
But is it? There is some truth behind the idea that children need to have two parents who are involved in their lives. But there are a few important details to consider, meaning it may not be a good idea to stay in a marriage just because of the children.
The parents don’t have to be married
For one thing, two involved parents don’t necessarily have to be married. They just have to be part of the child’s life. You can create a co-parenting arrangement so that you stay involved and provide a supportive and healthy environment for the children to grow up in. Don’t assume that your own marital relationship has to last. As long as you put the children’s best interests first, you can still give them the positive upbringing that you envision for them.
Conflict levels matter
Another thing to consider is that high conflict levels in the marriage can actually be worse for the children than if their parents just got divorced. Some parents will stay together even though they are having repeated arguments and fights. This just creates a high-stress living environment for the children, which can be very detrimental to their development.
If you are getting divorced with children, things can be a bit more complex. Be sure you know about all of your rights while splitting up physical and legal custody.