Adults who divorce often look forward to the day when they no longer have to speak to their ex. For those who share children, that day won’t come for a while. In some cases, it may never come.
Communicating with your ex may not always be easy, but you must ensure you do it to the best of your ability. Being able to work with your ex as you raise the children can greatly benefit the kids. Consider these three pointers to help you with effective communication.
1. Plan your points
Before you speak to your ex, write out the points that are important to you. This gives you a roadmap to follow as you have the discussion. It also provides you with a tangible list that enables you to ensure you cover the necessary points. Stick to points related to the children so the conversation remains focused.
2. Listen actively
It’s easy to become so focused on making your points that you forget that you have to listen to your ex. Take the time to listen actively to your ex’s points. This may give you the opportunity to find points of compromise. Hopefully, your ex will return the active listening so you can have a productive conversation. If they don’t, focus only on the important points and move forward from there.
3. Consider written communication
If your ex is particularly contentious, consider using written communication. This gives you a chance to take the emotion out of the conversation. You can read and re-read your replies to ensure that you aren’t speaking in a way that’s demeaning or argumentative.
Communication guidelines can be included in the parenting plan. Getting this plan together may be easier if you enlist the assistance of someone familiar with these matters.